


smoke rings from this paper doll

by lemonyellowlogic



Series: all you have is your fire and the place you need to reach [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Crying, Gen, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Suicidal Thoughts, Zuko (Avatar) is a Mess, and he cries, it's only for one line but it's clear, meanwhile the gaang is straight vibing in a cave, the crew care about this ansgty hurt boy, zuko basically realises his entire life is a lie and his father never cared about him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:48:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24907879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonyellowlogic/pseuds/lemonyellowlogic
Summary: Iroh slowly opened his nephew’s door to see the boy pacing quickly back and forth. Iroh’s brow furrowed at the sight, but he didn’t say anything, choosing instead to take a seat next to the lit candles along the wall. The candles were rising high with every breath Zuko took, but not high enough Iroh was worried.Iroh cleared his throat, “Nephew? What is it you wanted to talk about?”Zuko turned, looking at his uncle with anger and nervousness in his eyes, “Did the Air Nomads have an army?”--zuko confronts iroh about what he found out and learns the truth.
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: all you have is your fire and the place you need to reach [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799935
Comments: 40
Kudos: 580





	smoke rings from this paper doll

“Where are you been, Prince Zuko? You missed music night! Lieutenant Jee sang a stirring love song.”

Iroh cheerfully asked, masking his worry. His nephew had been gone the entire last night, and the crew had begun to worry about the boy as well. Ever since Iroh told them the truth about his scar, the crew who once resented the boy now seemed to care more and more about him. Well, Iroh didn't believe the crew ever truly resented him, Zuko was a child. But they directed their hate and anger to the one person who kept spewing his own hate and anger towards them.

Zuko froze as he walked past his uncle, and he turned. Iroh held back a wince at his nephew’s sight, the boy’s good eye shadowed by a deep circle and his phoenix plume tied back messily. His armor was put on lopsided but his face was hard, his entire expression tense.

“I...we need to talk, Uncle.”

Zuko seemed extremely stressed, or nervous for some reason. Iroh pursed his lips, standing slowly, “What is it, nephew?”

Zuko looked around, looking uncharacteristically nervous instead of his normally loud and angry persona, "...Just follow me.”

The prince quickly turned and stomped away, but by the way he carried himself, Iroh could tell something was eating him up inside. Iroh let out a sigh and followed the boy into the ship. Iroh slowly opened his nephew’s door to see the boy pacing quickly back and forth.

Iroh’s brow furrowed at the sight, but he didn’t say anything, choosing instead to take a seat next to the lit candles. The candles were rising high with every breath Zuko took, but not high enough Iroh was worried.

Iroh cleared his throat, “Nephew? What is it you wanted to talk about?”

Zuko turned, looking at his uncle with anger and nervousness in his eyes, “Did the Air Nomads have an army?”

Iroh’s brow furrowed deeper as he frowned, every bone in his body sad at the realization he was going to have this conversation with his beloved nephew.

“Why do you ask?”

“It doesn’t matter, Uncle. Did the Air Nomads have an army when the Fire Nation fought them?” Zuko spat out, his words like venom but not directed at Iroh. No, Zuko wasn’t mad at Iroh, he was mad at something deeper, something Iroh couldn’t pin yet.

Iroh sighed, looking like the old man he was as he looked into his nephew’s angry eyes, “No, no they did not, Prince Zuko.”

Zuko stared at his uncle, and his legs gave out, the prince crashing to his knees on the carpet laid on the hard metal floor of the ship. Iroh leaned forward, grabbing his nephew’s hand, “Zuko, why are you asking this? Where were you last night?”

Zuko looked up at his uncle, his eyes no longer angry, but filled with sorrow, and hate, and pain...and tears, “I...I saved the Avatar last night from Zhao.”

Iroh raised his eyebrows but grabbed Zuko’s other hand as well, and the prince allowed him to.

“He...he said that the Fire Nation killed...slaughtered his people, and I didn’t want to believe him. I couldn’t believe him. Everything I learned about the beginning of the war can’t be false, Uncle!”

Zuko took in a choking breath as he stared at the floor, “But, the Avatar was crying, he was upset. I knew he wasn’t lying, but how could he not’ve been? Why would the Fire Nation do such a thing?”

The air stilled, the quiet being broken only by Zuko’s short breaths, and Iroh sighed, “My nephew, our country is great, but even though that is true, our country is flawed as well.”

Zuko looked up to meet his uncle’s eyes and Iroh continued, pulling the boy closer to him, “Our Fire Lord’s have hidden the truth from the people for years upon years, to the point most do not know it any longer.”

Zuko’s eyes hardened, and he hissed through his teeth, “How many lies have they taught me? How many lies do I still believe?”

Iroh caressed his arm, “It’s not your fault, Prince Zuko. You are a victim to your father’s and fore-fathers lies like any other citizen.”

Zuko suddenly ripped his arm away from Iroh, “I’m not any other citizen, Uncle. I am the Crown Prince! My father should trust me enough to tell me the truth, but instead...instead…”

Zuko’s voice broke, his words cutting off, “Uncle, you said my father has lied to me many times. What do you mean by that?”

Iroh’s eyes softened and his heart burned at the sight of his nephew, who’s shoulders slumped and eyes stared at the floor beneath his knees. But, Roh still answered, “I believe you yourself knows the answer, my Prince.”

Zuko fell from his knees to his ass, whispering as he clutched his arms, “He never meant for me to go home, didn’t he? This was just a fool’s quest?”

Iroh stared at his nephew, and sighed, reaching forward and holding his hand, “Yes.”

A sob broke free from the teenager’s mouth, and he clasped his hand over it, his thin body shaking with sobs. His other hand pulled tightly at his ponytail as he cried, to punish himself for showing weakness, Iroh didn’t know.

He harshly whispered to himself, clutching his hair as he yelled at himself, "Dammit, dammit, dammit!"

Iroh leaned over, carefully removing his fingers from where they tightly wrapped around his hair, before wrapping his arms around his nephew, holding the shaking price close to him. Zuko hated showing weakness to anyone, even Iroh, but Iroh knew Zuko needed this right now. Zuko couldn’t be trapped in his own mind with only his thoughts to keep him company. 

So, Iroh held the boy, held his shaking body until his sobs dissipated, and Zuko weakly pushed him away.

“I spent three years of my life doing nothing, hoping for my father to care about me, to be proud of me. But he never did, did he, Uncle?”

He looked up at his Uncle, Zuko’s golden eyes shining bright with tears and anger.

“He never cared about me, loved me. He never even had to lie to my face, but I believed that he had to love me. But he didn’t. I'm such an idiot.”

Iroh pursed his lips, wrapping the boy in another hug, but this one was loose so Zuko could push him away easily. He didn’t, instead burying his face into Iroh’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Prince Zuko. You deserved better than a man like Ozai.”

Zuko hiccuped into his uncle’s chest, and Iroh murmured, “Ozai is a fool to not see how great a prince, how great a man you are.”

Zuko gave a bitter laugh into the fabric, his hands gripping it tighter, “You shouldn’t say that Uncle, you shouldn’t disrespect him.” He grew quiet again, and Iroh’s face as Zuko asked in a weak voice, “Did he mean to kill me at the Agni Kai, Uncle?”

Iroh only held him closer, “I’m sorry, Zuko.”

Zuko didn’t cry. He didn’t move from where he laid in his Uncle’s loving arms. He didn’t do anything.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Uncle?” Zuko asked after minutes of silence, his voice muted and numb.

Iroh sighed, “I wanted you to find out on your own, you wouldn’t’ve believed me otherwise, nephew.”

Zuko laughed a sharp bark, empty of humor and lined with sadness and anger directed at himself, “No...no, I wouldn’t’ve.”

Zuko wanted to die. He wanted to feel nothing. Everything he knew, everything he believed, lies. He didn’t blame Uncle. He wanted to, wanted to be mad at him for hiding the truth for so long, but he couldn’t. Zuko wouldn’t have believed anything the old man said, he was so wrapped up inside of the fantasy he lived in for the last three years.

Three years. He spent three years of his life searching for the Avatar trying to go home. But go home to what? 

Zuko never allowed himself to think about what he wanted, but what really was there at home for him? A father who didn’t care enough to tell him the truth? A sister who loved to burn and belittle him? Teachers and tutors who always reminded him just how stupid he was and how he’d never be as good as Azula? His mother had been gone for years now, never turning back or returning to even see him.

Zuko didn’t have a home. All he had was a palace he grew up in with no one there who cared a passing glance in his direction.

Zuko had hated the ship, hated how no one respected him because he was young. But, over the last few weeks, things had changed. Crew members didn’t talk down to him anymore. Lieutenant Jee actually began listening to him. Zuko felt like he was finally being allowed to breathe around them.

But, even if he hated the ship, he had his Uncle. His lazy, old Uncle who loved tea, and pai sho, and doing things that took away from the mission, and who never left Zuko like everyone else had.

Zuko leaned back, staring at his hands. He let out a shallow breath, “What’re we going to do, Uncle?”

Iroh sighed again, “I do not know yet, Zuko. It is your choice. We can continue the mission, or you can choose your own path.”

“My destiny was supposed to be to find the Avatar, but how can I do that when I know he’s not doing anything wrong?”

“Prince Zuko,” Zuko looked up, “No one’s destiny is set in stone. It is your choice to live the life you wish, or to follow the path you choose, no one else’s.”

The banished prince swallowed, “I...promised the Avatar that my attempts on capturing him would halt until I found all the information I needed to, but...even though I know it now, I don’t want to start again.”

“You don’t know all the information, Prince Zuko. It’s only been a few hours.”

“I know enough!” Zuko hissed, “I know that I was wrong!” The fire from the candles rose dangerously high.

Zuko sighed, trying to calm down and the candles fell again. He gave a tiny shrug that felt like he did it with the weight of the world on his shoulders, “I wouldn’t gain anything from it anyways.”

“You could go home like you wished to,” Iroh offered gently, though he predicted Zuko's response correctly.

“That isn’t my home,” Zuko spat, “It never was. Father hates me, Mother left, and Azula treated me like I was nothing.”

Iroh hummed, and Zuko continued, “My wish to go home was the wish of a child, of an ignorant, naive idiot who didn’t know anything.”

“Zuko, you _were_ a child, don’t stain your past name with the hate of the present.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Uncle There’s nothing left to do for me. I can’t go back to the Fire Nation, I don’t want to capture the Avatar for my fafter, and my destiny has all but disappeared. What use is there of a banished prince on a world he isn’t needed?”

“You are needed, Zuko.”

“Who needs me, then? This crew is better off without me, the Avatar needs to continue his mission, and I can’t do anything special. I’m just a horrible fire bender the Nation doesn’t need.”

“ _I_ need you, Zuko.” Iroh grabbed his shoulders, staring earnestly into his eyes, “You make me proud every day, and being your uncle fills me with joy and purpose. Never say you aren’t needed, my Prince, because I always will need you.”

“I-” Zuko’s eyes began to fill with tears, and he quickly wiped them away, “Okay, Uncle. I…” He swallowed thickly and his voice croaked, ”I believe you.”

Iroh smiled, “Good.”

Zuko looked away, but he smiled too. It then fell as he remembered his encounter the night before.

“Uncle, I don’t know my role in the world anymore, but I know the Avatar is going to try and take down the Fire Lord. Maybe,” Zuko gnawed on his lip, “Maybe my role is to join him instead?”

Iroh hummed, “Possibly, but you don’t have to decide anything as we speak. You didn’t have any sleep last night. Don’t,“ Iroh raised a finger at Zuko who was about to contradict him, “I can see the bags under your eyes and the lines on your face. I want you to sleep first, and then we will speak about the decisions we have to make.”

“You mean _I_ have to make,“ Zuko muttered darkly under his breath.

“No, I don’t, nephew. I will be here throughout, and regardless of your decision, I will not let you go alone.”

“I...okay.” Zuko stuttered, a small smile growing on his tired, ear stained face.

“Go to bed, my Prince. I’ll make sure no one wakes you during, but when you wake up, I expect you to tell me the tale of you rescuing the Avatar from Zhao.”

Zuko turned beet-red, “It wasn’t a rescue!”

Iroh chuckled, squeezing his nephew’s hands before standing and stretching his back.

“Sure. But, do not worry about decisions to make, just sleep, nephew.”

Zuko nodded, and Iroh slowly walked out. Zuko didn’t go to his bed though. He knelt in front of the candles that Iroh had sat in front of prior, and he meditated, breathing softly as he prayed to Agni for guidance.

Iroh walked to Lieutenant Jee, and he began speaking to the man about decisions yet to come and their prince’s discoveries, and Jee listened to every word.

Meanwhile, Aang and the Water Tribe siblings slept on in a cave, Aang excited for what’s to come and the siblings unaware that their greatest enemy is no longer one.

**Author's Note:**

> eyyy i hope you liked this one!
> 
> the next part will probably take me a lot longer to put out, but i wrote the beginning of this chapter a few days ago so i decided to just finish it now, and i'm happy with how it turned out!
> 
> i have a separate unfinished and unpublished work i'm directing most of my energy to at the moment, but once i finish that one, i'll be able to focus on this one.
> 
> thank you for reading and feel free to comment, i love seeing everyone's thoughts on this!


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